Street Smart Sukhumvit

OK. So I've been tagged by Kamenashifan. Now I'm s'posed to share EIGHT things that my readers don't know about me. Then I'm also s'posed to tag 8 other people to reveal their 8 most appalling, dirtiest, nastiest secrets... Or perhaps just something surprising/interesting.

RULES:
* Each blogger must post these rules first.
* Each blogger must start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
* Bloggers that are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
* At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

So here goes nothing (by the way, some of you might already know some of these points):

1. I am what you call a TCK (Third Culture Kid).

Wikipedia has a very good explanation: "TCK refers to someone who [as a child] has spent a significant period of time in one or more culture(s) other than his or her own, thus integrating elements of those cultures and their own birth culture, into a third culture".

The complete info on TCK is here.

In simple plain English: I am more "mixed" than a Caesar salad and somtam combined together.

Here's the breakdown: my father is Indonesian-Chinese and my mother is Filipino-Spanish. I was born in Manila, Philippines and lived in both the Philippines and Indonesia until 1988, when my whole family moved to Bangkok, Thailand. And we've been here ever since. To make matters even more confusing, people usually assume I am Japanese (just ask Noel~!!). As y'all know already, Sukhumvit Road is crawling with Japanese so it's not uncommon for some Japanese to actually come up to me on the street and start saying "blah blah blah" (which of coz I don't understand). I simply tell 'em, "WAKARIMASEN!" (which means "I don't understand!" in Japanese).

Personally, I don't think I look Japanese AT ALL (my eyes aren't chinky, yo~!!)... but I've been told more than once that I can totally pass for a Nihonjin (perhaps it's my very pale skin?).

So when someone asks me, "Where are you from?" I get very confused coz that question opens up a whole new set of other questions, such as:

- do you mean where I was born?

- or is it the passport I carry?

- or where I grew up?

- or where I am living now?

I am often tempted to be a smartass and just reply, "I come from Earth!" but I know most people won't appreciate that. If I'm not in the mood to explain my complicated background, I usually just say, "I'm from Thailand", but then so people go, "Oh, so you're Thai..." which then forces me to say, "Well, no I'm not Thai... I only LIVE in Thailand. I also work there but I was born in Manila and then I lived in Indonesia and the Philippines and then..." Aaaaaarrgghh~~ CRAP.

2. You are most likely to bump into me in Emporium.

Believe it or not, I visit Emporium AT LEAST once a week. Emporium is my second home~!! I actually MISS it when I'm traveling abroad~!!

Before you howl your protests and pooh-pooh my second point, consider these reasons first:

- first, its aircon is consistently cold, the toilets are clean and the size is JUST RIGHT (Central Chidlom is too small and packed, Paragon is waaay too spacious - I get leg cramps just to walk from one side to the other!)

- its location is soooo convenient (smack dab in the middle of Sukhumvit, PLUS with a connecting bridge to the BTS Promphong station!)

- it has everything: a supermarket, food courts (two kinds - one cheaper and one more expensive), a department store, restaurants, a bank, car wash, valet parking, boutiques, a library, movie theaters, and exhibition halls, PLUS jazz musicians.

- yes, the service is also better (or perhaps the workers already consider me as "family" since I'm there soooo... often?). I mean, why else would they ask stuff like, "Are you alone today? Where's your mom/sister?" or "Wow, you changed your hair!" or "Are you ordering the usual?" or "Where have you been? I haven't seen you here for a while! Khid theung khid theung!! (I miss you!)" - when I show up again after traveling abroad.

3. My stomach is made of iron. And my tongue is 3 cm thick.

You might think I'm so hi-so after reading number 2, BUT lemme tell you this: I consider Thai street food to be the BEST Thai food in the world. I truly believe that roadside pollution actually makes the food taste better. I've tried doing the "sai thung" thing (take-out) with the street food, but I swear, the taste is just NOT AS GOOD when you're eating it at home, using your own plate, spoon and fork~!! You gotta mix the food with the WHOLE STREET ATMOSPHERE: humid air, airborne particles, car exhaust, and the smell of humanity.

"Have you ever gotten sick from eating street food?" is a question often posed to me. And my answer is NO, coz I've got an iron stomach that has already been "vaccinated" against whatever bugs might be lurking around in the street food.

I am also extremely fond of HOT n' SPICY food. This is actually a very big advantage coz others won't ask to "share" my food... They know that just a tiny taste of my grubs will take 'em straight to FIERY HELL.

4. I am an ex-journalist.

I quit coz the money was just not good enough for the amount of work expected of me (example: since news can happen anytime anywhere, journalists actually never have holidays SOB~!!). I believe that journalism should be left to the real HARDCORE people who do it for the love of the craft, not for the money. And to be honest, I am not that hardcore. I didn't wanna be one of those starving journalists with nothing but the FIRE in their hearts to keep 'em going~!!

What's more, I don't wanna be middle-aged and still "chasing the truth"!! Hell, THERE IS NO TRUTH. Trust me, when you look at journalism, in the end it's basically just DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF THE SAME STORY~!! I've got a different kinda life in mind: when I'm middle-aged already, I should be living the sabai life and doing whatever it is I want (I've got a few ideas for this, but that's another story).

When I was growing up, people always told me, "Your writing is really good!". Then when I became a journalist, the same people said, "Journalism FITS you very well!! You are MEANT to write~!!" But then I realized that hey, FLATTERY won't help me buy food/pay the rent/afford me lovely blingin' rocks.

But after I quit journalism, a VERY STRANGE THING happened. I became very restless. I wanted to write again so badly that it was actually keeping me awake at nights (hahaha~). Hence this silly lil' bloggie of mine, StreetSmartSukhumvit. At least now I'm writing about something I care about. Of coz there's no money in this, but I am enjoying myself soooo~ much!!

When I was a journalist I had to write about WHATEVER MY EDITOR TOLD ME TO WRITE. There were times when I honestly didn't give a rat's ass about the subject and it was extremely painful to FORCE myself to produce a decent article at the end of the day (deadline was 6 pm everyday).

5. I hopelessly SUCK in cooking.

Oh sure, I can fry an egg. And of course, boil instant noodles (can anything that has to do with fire be considered "cooking"?).

But anything more complicated than that... well, don't hold your breath. In fact, you might get food poisoning. Or worse, nightmares about crappy food. It's like food-trauma. Definitely NOT FUN.

Once I watched someone make Japanese curry (the kind that comes from a packet). It looked SO EASY, I thought, "Damn, I CAN DO this~!!" So one night, I tried making it for a family dinner. I SWEAR I followed EVERYTHING in the recipe, but... when I presented it on the table, my family was, like, "Erm... what's this??" I said, "It's Japanese curry, DUH~!!" Then they went, "Uh... It looks kinda weird..." SIGH~~~~

I consider myself very lucky that I live in Thailand, where food is plentiful, very delicious AND cheap. In fact, since good cheap food is always readily available, what's the point of cooking at home?! You gotta put SO much time and effort (choosing/buying ingredients, washing, cutting, boiling, simmering, frying etc. etc.), then you make a complete MESS of the kitchen, then after all is done, you spend a total of mere 20 minutes to gobble up the food that you spent 1-2 hours preparing~!! Soooo NOT WORTH IT~!!

Now, EATING... That is my expertise~!! So everybody else can do the "cooking" part and I'll do the "eating" part~!!

6. My friends call me "cynical".

This is mainly due to my beliefs:

- humans are naturally evil (that's why we need schools, ethics and the rule of law to keep us straight)

- truth is relative (there's no one universal truth)

- democracy is overrated

- money does bring happiness

- if you crave unconditional love, then for Pete's sake GET A PUPPY instead of  reproducing

Well, are these cynical beliefs? Actually, I prefer to call myself "realistic". Or "practical". Nevertheless, eventho I do enjoy sarcasm (I think it's an ART~!!), my heart isn't completely made of stone and I can assure you that I'm a warm-blooded creature heh heh~!!

7. I am extremely good in hunting and killing cockroaches.

No, it's NOT a hobby. It's just that I think cockroaches are the most disgusting creatures on the face of the Earth; so everytime I see one in my house or anywhere else I get the urge to just KILLKILLKILL~!!

While others might scream/run away/faint at the sight of these sick insects, I spring into action. You need to be swift and quiet,  decisive and merciless~!! I've found that everyday objects do very well as murder weapons: rolled-up newspapers, brooms and slippers (but you gotta wash the slippers later - such a bother).

I also have this acidic solution which actually MELTSSSS these creepy-crawlies when I pour it on 'em~!! It's so FUN to watch (especially when I am in the mood for being extra CRUEL mwahahahaaaa), but then I gotta deal with a gooey yucky mess later - so I don't recommend this one as a daily solution.

My absolute favorite weapon is: a fly swatter - it's easy to grab, light and highly maneuverable~!! I've never missed a roach when I have my trusty and deadly fly-swatter in hand~!!

Of course, it also helps that I have a nose that is highly sensitive to cockroach smell. I kid you not. For example: I was watching TV when suddenly my nose picked up a familiar (but disgusting) smell. I stood up and declared, "There's a cockroach here~!!!" Now, everybody thought I was NUTS, but after looking around for a while... yeap I found the nasty lil' shithead, hiding behind the TV~!! (Suffice to say, this one met an untimely death too, just like ALL the others!!!).

I am probably creating SO MUCH bad karma by killing so many cockroaches, but I don't caaaare - I'm just gonna have to deal with it in my next life~!! In this life, I am gonna have to satisfy my bloodlust~!! (By the way, FYI, roach blood is WHITE - yuck).

8. I am completely devoid of patriotism.

Perhaps this is because I am a TCK; I won't fight and kill for any country (hell, if you have a background as complicated as mine, wouldn't you also have an "identity crisis"?!).

The closest I've come to a spark of nationalism was one time when I was dancing with some guy at a formal party... He asked me where I'm from and I simply said, "I'm from Bangkok". Then he made a comment, "Oh, Bangkok... I've been there. It's SO DIRTY~!!" Now, perhaps if he came from a highly developed and super-sophisticated country/city, I could at least understand. BUT the fact is, the fool also came from a so-called "Third World" country (which will remain unmentioned) which I know for a fact is even dirtier than Bangkok (combined with the whole Thailand)~!! At that moment, I could actually feel my blood starting to boil. Suffice to say, the fool was relegated to my "black list"~!!

I am extremely fond of Thailand and I consider it to be my "real" home, eventho I don't even have a drop of Thai blood in me. However, I am aware that I'll always be a foreigner in this wonderful country, so I am very careful about making any political/religious comments. I am grateful that Thailand and Thai people have welcomed my family and allowed us to have a fabulous life here, so Thailand (and of coz, Sukhumvit Road) will always have a special place in my heart.

I am actually seriously considering (after I die and be cremated) to have my ashes scattered all over Sukhumvit Road heh heh~!!

And if this isn't obvious yet... Writing here about Sukhumvit life is giving me so much pleasure and happiness~!! I am always looking forward to ALL of your comments, so keep 'em coming~!!

Eight is the number of wealth~!!

And here are my eight tag VICTIMS:

1. Noel

2. Nini

3. Tintin

4. Nick

5. Tony

6. Stblank

7. Vandita

8. Mira

Alright people, get crackin'~!! And don't forget to send me a PM once it's all done and ready~!!

streetsmartsukhumvit@gmail.com

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