Street Smart Sukhumvit

The peak tourist season is here. No wonder there is more than the usual number of elephants on Sukhumvit. These exploited animals, who are actually one of Thailand’s national symbols, are now forced to walk around bustling Sukhumvit Road and beg for food.

A few months ago, these pachyderms were nowhere to be seen on Sukhumvit. Then around November, they started to reappear on the streets (just in time for the Loy Krathong, I guess – read about the festival HERE). 

Now it’s almost Christmas, and hardly a day goes by without the SukhumvitAngel spotting one of these lumbering giants being forced to “act cute” in front of wide-eyed tourists who are more than willing to buy overpriced bananas and sugarcane sticks for a “cool vacation picture”, in the misguided notion that feeding these elephants on the street is actually “helping” them.

** NOTE: To those who have no idea who the SukhumvitAngel (or “S/A” for short) is, click HERE.

Some of you might wonder why S/A is so bitter about the plight of the elephants on Sukhumvit. Before you pooh-pooh her as being a killjoy or cranky (and irrelevant) superhero, consider these points first:

1). Elephants do NOT live in the city. They live in the jungle.

2). It is actually ILLEGAL to bring elephants into the city.

3). These begging elephants aren’t actually owned by the sorry ass people who are dragging them all over the city; these people RENT these elephants from the REAL owner(s) and make money by selling the elephants’ food to passers-by/tourists/basically anyone.

4). The whole idea of renting elephants to make money is just plain DUMB. First, you gotta rent the elephant (that’s money coming out, right?). Then you gotta buy the elephant’s food (more money coming out). Next you gotta convince people to buy the food (on a higher price) so they can feed it to the elephant. How much is the profit margin~?! If these people can afford to shell out all this money in the first place, then why don’t they get another job (like: perhaps using that money to buy some equipment to sell street food, for example – which will earn better money, avoid abusing these proud and graceful animals and doesn’t rely too heavily on the tourists).

5). Many of these elephants get injured because Bangkok’s drivers aren’t exactly the best drivers in the world; it’s not unusual that some of these elephants end up with broken bones after being hit by cars.

6). An elephant’s sheer size means that one elephant has to eat a whole LOT of food every single day. Now, some clueless and gullible tourists might think “I’m helping the elephant by giving it some food”, but think about it… Do you think your measly (and overpriced) 10 bananas and sugarcane sticks are gonna save any elephants from hunger? All you’re doing is spoiling these good-for-nothing touts who are too lazy to get a REAL job.

7). Tragically, begging elephants seem to be getting younger and younger each year (I guess it’s the “cute” factor). Taking a baby elephant away from its mother will cause extreme stress and who knows what psychological scars later in life.

Some bleeding hearts might whine and complain that S/A is a cold-hearted biatch who is not capable of feeling pity towards “poor people who are just trying to make a living”.

S/A has nothing against making a living, as long as you’re not exploiting anyone (and that includes animals). These animals can’t even CHOOSE whether they want to beg or not. Hell, even some “ladies of the night” still get a chance to choose whether they still want to be in the trade or not~!! (Proof is HERE).

Some tourists also might resent S/A for raining on their parade. In their minds, since they’re visitors in Thailand, they want to see “cool authentic Thai stuff”, and having a picture of oneself posing with an elephant on the street is way up there in the “cool factor”. The numerous “Bangkok elephant" VDOs on YouTube (click HERE HERE HERE HERE HERE and HERE) are proof that foreign tourists indeed see the whole issue from a different point of view.

If you (or your whiny kids) *MUST* have a personal pic with a real live elephant, then for Pete’s sake just go to the Elephant Farm. At least there the elephants don’t have to walk on hot asphalt, watch out for swerving vehicles and beg.

**********

So anyway, on one particular day, S/A was walking around Sukhumvit when she spotted a baby elephant walking on the pavement. She took this picture:

The jerk who was (pretending to be) the elephant’s handler/mahout instantly became very aggressive and shoved plastic bags full of bananas in front of S/A’s face and demanded that she buy some bananas to feed the elephant.

When S/A (POLITELY) refused, he became angry and shouted (in ENGLISH~!!!), “YOU TOOK PICTURE ALREADY~!!!”

So not only the douche bag never went to charm school, now people actually have to PAY just to take a picture of the elephant, eh? Friggin’ NONSENSE.

“I don’t see ANY signs that says I have to pay to take a picture of the elephant~!!” S/A shouted back (in ENGLISH TOO – hell if the fool wanted show off his English skills then S/A could match him~!!).

“YOU PAY~!!” the idiot shouted (and thus inadvertently showed how primitive his English actually was).

“I NO PAY~!!!!” S/A shouted back (using the same elementary English level, just so the moron would understand her).

“YOU PAY~!!” the a-hole insisted.

“If you can speak English, then why don’t you get a better job, ai hia~!!” S/A shouted back (IN THAI~!!!! WITH SWEAR WORDS~!!). “You want me to call the police~?!” she added a threat for effect.

The annoying ant-faced creep shot daggers to S/A from his eyes but said nothing. He decided to drop the issue as by this time, onlookers were becoming very curious about the whole commotion… Guess he wasn’t dumb enough to not realize that the whole thing was bad PR, especially in front of tourists – Imagine how scandalous it looked – a poor innocent baby elephant being dragged into some street altercation over some non-existent “rule” made out of thin air by an overzealous, greedy and rude tout that one click of a camera is equal to Buddha knows how many plastic bags of elephant food. HAH~!!

So the fake elephant handler/belligerent elephant food seller/bad “businessman” simply left with "his" baby elephant in search of more “agreeable customers”.

S/A was left to realize that she had achieved NOTHING. The jerk would simply get money from other people. The real elephant owner would still continue the exploitation. And the baby elephant would still be abused and humiliated.

Worse, the next day, S/A spotted the same tout, at almost the same spot, doing exactly the same thing.

All she could do was to beseech all the deities in the cosmos to grant her wish that the shithead be trampled to death (slowly and painfully) by elephants - for sure his bad karma is more than enough to merit this well-deserved punishment.

P.S. And just in case you’re tempted to blame everything on the clueless tourists and lazy/evil/greedy fake elephant mahouts, watch THIS VDO to see that the locals are also guilty of this whole mess. * If each of us refuses to buy (overpriced) elephant food, then these good-for-nothing touts will be forced to find REAL work *

P.P.S. The tragedy of the begging elephants is unfortunately, too big and serious to be handled by S/A. Thus S/A recommends helping these non-profit organizations who are trying to help these long suffering giants:

Elephant Nature Foundation:
http://www.elephantnaturefoundation.org/

Bring the Elephant Home: http://www.bring-the-elephant-home.nl/en/index.php

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