StreetSmart's posts with tag: sukhumvit 24
|  |  People have been bugging me like hell DA WHOLE DAY TODAY coz it's my B-Day.
"What are you gonna do tonight to celebrate one more year of being alive~?!" they asked.
"Erm, I'm not doing anything special today," I said distractedly, busy pounding the calculator. "I think I'll wait 'til the weekend."
"THAT'S SCANDALOUS~~!!!" they all screamed. "You're not doing ANYTHING special or different to celebrate~?!"
"Well, does wearing a peridot (my birthstone) bracelet count~??" I asked.
"NO~~!!!!" they all gave me such disgusted looks I wished my B-Day was last month.
"How can you be so blasé about your own B-Day~?!" one more chimed in.
"Sigh~ just getting older means nothing," I tried to argue. "In fact, since EVERYBODY gets older sooner or later, I don't even see what's all this fuss about B-Days."
"More years = more wisdom~!!" they asserted.
"Not necessarily," I rebutted. "I know LOTS of much older people who are STILL hopeless retards."
"YOU ARE SOOOOOOOOO CYNICAL~~~!!!!!!!" they all sighed so dramatically (I swear, if I get 100 baht for everytime someone calls me cynical, I wouldn't even NEED to count my money~!!)
They protested SO HARD that I had to concede defeat just to shut 'em up. Besides, they all decided to treat me for dinner, so of coz I had to say yes (I usually don't say "NO" to free food~!!) 
So I gave up counting my money (which is MUCH MORE FUN than counting years, am tellin' ya~!!) and went out into the humid Sukhumvit night air.
Unfortunately, it was over 11 pm already, and most restaurants were closed.
"See, this is ALL YER FAULT for spending sooooo... much time obsessing about money just now~!!" one of my B-day dinner payers whined. "WHERE are we gonna eat now~?!"
Well, since I was the B-day star, I got to choose the place. The choices were, I got to admit, quite limited.
I tried to remember what I typed in for one of my photo al bums before, titled "Late Night Chow in Sukhumvit" (read it HERE) and decided to choose SANKAYA (pictured right), one of my favorite Japanese restaurants in Sukhumvit 24 for some Thai food - this one stays open 'til 1 am.
(I know, I know, it's so WEIRD to go to a Japanese restaurant to eat Thai food, but I swear - this Japanese restaurant makes a really fierce somtam puu~!!).
"Why SANKAYA~?!?!" they  weren't done whining yet. "Can't you at least choose a Japanese restaurant that's NOT beside a sleazy Japanese club~?!?!"
Nevertheless, since tonight was s'posed to be MY night, they had no choice but to go along with my choice.
"You're not even gonna eat Japanese food there~!!" one very stubborn complainer tried a last-ditch attempt to change my mind.
But don't despair... I DID drink genuine HOT Japanese sake (rice wine) there to usher in one more year of my life.
So to all the wonderful peeps who greeted me on my B-Day: THANK YOU A WHOLE BUNCH~~!!!(*wipes tear from eye*)
I'm truly touched y'all remembered my B-Day~!!
Sorry I don't have any exciting pics to show ya~!!
 is September here yet~?!
streetsmartsukhumvit@gmail.com
 sukhumvit  bangkok  thailand |
Too gorgeous, too breath-taking and toooooooooo AWESOME for my usual lowly smart-ass comments...I give you...
HEAVEN above Sukhumvit~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 (*mouth agape... totally speechless...*)
Everybody~!! Say it together with me now:
 WOOOOOOOOOOW~~~~~~~!!!
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I was walking in Sukhumvit 26 when I noticed that the traffic was heavier than usual... People on the road were just s-l-o-w-e-r coz they were WATCHING something.
Intrigued, I quickened my pace and found this:
 That's right. It was a huge group of pasty-skinned, casually-dressed farangs milling around, with seemingly NOTHING to do.
You'd think that after HUNDREDS of MILLIONS of pasty-skinned, casually-dressed farang visitors visited the Land of Smile, the locals would be used to seeing 'em around.
But I guess just not with THIS group size.
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Look what I found parked in front of a Japanese restaurant near Sukhumvit 24:
 
I guess someone's REALLY HOT for Doraemon~!!
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Now, I've heard of double-bagging...
but DOUBLE UNDIES~~?!?!
(banner found in front of a spa in Thonglo)
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY~~~~??? (*tears hair out*)
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* All attempts to understand will be futile.
Worse, it might drive you insane.
This is Thailand.
Don't try to understand.
JUST ACCEPT~!!
I SO totally accept~!! streetsmartsukhumvit@gmail.com sukhumvit bangkok thailand
Link: http://www.emporiumthailand.com/main.phpI just realized that I still don't a have a link to my second home on Sukhumvit (YIKES~!!).
Emporium has EVERYTHING that a Sukhumvittite needs; no wonder I'm here at least once a week~!!
| |  Blink and you'll miss it~!! The sidewalk between Sukhumvit 24 and 26 turns into an impromptu market at noon during weekdays~!!
The thing is, since the sellers are there to catch (mostly) office workers on their lunch break, they will disappear just as quickly as they come in the early afternoon~!!
The usually spacious sidewalk will get clogged during lunchtime, then around 1:30 - 2 pm everything will turn quiet again... until the next day lunchtime.
It's also a hit-n-miss affair when it comes to the products being offered here... since some sellers are there all the time (like the earrings seller) and some are just "guest sellers" (like many of those hawking clothes).
This means: if you find something that you like here, you better buy it NOW~!! Coz there's no guarantee that the same seller will show up again next time~!!
Also available: all kinds of food (fruits, breads, sausages, meatballs, ice cream, peanuts, grilled bananas), drinks, counterfeit items (like DVDs and watches - ha ha ha) and accessories (bangles, bags, sunglasses, hair decorations). One thing they have in common is that they're all CHEAP~!! Yehey~~!!!
So you see, lunchtime in Sukhumvit isn't just for lunch... there's no lack of distraction tempting you to part with your hard-earned cash~!!
Let the burnin' begin~~~~!!! WOO-HOOOOO~~~!!
"just lookin' around" ain't enuff~!!
streetsmartsukhumvit@gmail.com
sukhumvit bangkok thailand |
 So there I was in a TAXI on a sunny day inside Sukhumvit 24.
My driver this time was a man who appeared to be in his mid-thirties, with closely-cropped hair.
When we passed a high-end pet specialty store, the driver said to me, "Nhu, nhu... look at that dog fashion shop~!! Even dogs have better clothes than humans~!! Ha! Ha! Ha!" he guffawed, somehow finding the whole situation comical.
"Oh, I used to have a poodle before who hated wearing clothes," I told him.
"That's good, it's cheaper," he nodded. "My dog actually likes wearing clothes~!!" he laughed again. "Guess how much a dog dress costs~!!"
I was about to open my mouth and guess a price, but was beaten to the punch. "150 baht~!!!" the driver exclaimed. "150 baht~!! I can have a nice dinner already with 150 baht~!! HAHAHAHAAAA~~~!!!" he laughed heartily.
"But y'know, my family takes our dog everywhere we go," he continued, "even up North, when we go to Chiang Mai and Chiang Rai~!!"
"Reeeeeeally~~??" I exclaimed.
"Yeap," he said. "Even to the Doi Suthep Temple (pictured below left). See, dogs aren't allowed to ride the cable car up to the temple, so we tell him to go up the stairs (pictured below right) and wait for us there."
 
"WOW, so smart~!!!" I commented, and the driver giggled happily (I could tell the man was a true dog-lover~!!).
"And you know what, soooo... many people really like our dog, he's popular everywhere~!!" he claimed.
"But you know what's funny?" he asked.
"What is it?" I asked back.
"My dog hates farangs~!!!! HAHAHAHAAA~~~~!!!!" he laughed uproariously. "Farangs always think he's so cute and want to play with him, but he doesn't even let them touch him~!!"
"Oh, how come~??" I asked him.
"Hmmmm... I myself don't know," he said, shaking his head. "Maybe... farangs just smell different~~!!! BWAHAHAHAHAAAA~~~!!!!" he laughed like hell, slapping his thighs. sniff sniff
Read PART 1 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!! Read PART 2 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!! Read PART 3 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!!
Read part 4 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!!
Read part 5 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!!
Read part 6 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!!
streetsmartsukhumvit@gmail.com sukhumvit bangkok thailand
What do you get when you mix some silly girls and a tweezer in Emporium during summer~??
OUCH-nesssssss~~~!!!
(But it still looks kinda FUN to do...).
P.S. And no... this ain't me. I would NEVER fry mah vampire skin like zat~~!!! EVER.
tweezers ain't just for hair, yo~!! sukhumvit bangkok thailand Import.flv (1.5 MB)
 WANTED: a morning person energetic, dedicated and FEARLESS enough to teach the grumpiest expat in Sukhumvit a LESSON he shall never forget~!!
This is Carl Harrison, the first victim (as far as everyone knows) of Mr. Grumpy in the Oriental Coffee Shop (located on the 5th floor Emporium).
 And this what happened to him:
May 24, 2008 Emporium, Friday morning 10am, food floor, Oriental coffee/cake shop. I went in there for breakfast, all seating is on stools in the window and there were only 2 other customers in there and plenty of seating. Ordered my food, sat at the stool and read the paper. 10 mins later I head some raised voice behind me in a "complaining" sort of way, then this guy in shorts/shirt, 50ish, blonde/grey hair, glasses grabs another paper and slams it down next to me. He slams his phones down and mumbles. I was staring him by this point wondering why someone can be so damn unpleasant to staff and in front of people at that time in the morning, and if he looked at me I would have asked him why he was having such a bad day.
Anyway, out of the corner of my eye I noticed that he sharply and quickly pushed my bag further towards me when he had the space for 4 seatings. Soon after the waitress brought his food and again he did some Italianesque gesticulating and mumbling, which I couldn't hear. But I could hear him on the phone (again speaking fairly rudely in Thai then English). This was a businessman who had the manners of a chav.
I stayed for an hour and assumed this guy might have just lost a big contract/been cheated on/got locked out of his condo or something equally as bad. Oh no. As I went to pay he quickly summoned another waitress and again fairly loudly gesticulated towards my plates, but not quite loudly enough for me to hear from the counter. All waitresses looked uncomfortable with this guy and I was in two minds whether to go up to him to ask him why he was taking it out on people.
Then came the reason: he liked to sit in my spot every day. Yes, that's it. He was absolutely devasted and blatantly rude because he was a businessman regular and I was in his regular seat, so he was mad at the girls for not reserving it..and mad at me (or any other) that would be ONE seat further up than himself that day.
I had to laugh in both disbelief and suppessed anger at hearing this, at which point he STILL didn't turn around or make any eye contact. Maybe he was too important. The amazing this is, there is no way he would have acted like this at home...he would be hated wherever he went and probably banned. Unfortunately and embarrassingly for me, he was English.
All I know is that I WILL be there on or before 10am on Monday and Tuesday sitting in that very same seat again and will await his reaction with glee. __________
Can you guys buh-liiieeeve this farang loser~~?!?!
Anyway, read on:May 26, 2008 Update: it happened again this morning as I expected! Got there 10am for their superb breakfast and coffee. A middle-aged ex pat couple were in the middle seats and so I sat in "his" place which was in the corner next to them.
Sure enough, just 2 minutes later I head a commotion behind and the women next to me turn around and then asked me why he was so upset. He made his feelings quite clear by loudly stating to all around him that "that place was reserved" before slamming down his paper and storming out before anyone could comment. The couple were amazed when I told them the story.
One hour later I was still there and sure enough he came back with his little gf/wife. As soon as he saw me he went mad again with the nearest waitress saying that he'd told her 4 times to keep that place reserved for him. The security guard came into vision. At this point I called him to come over and talk to me about it instead of the staff but he stormed off again.
I called the waitress over to apologise for HIS rudeness but said that I would be sitting wherever I wanted. She took it in good humour and said it nearly happens every day with this workaholic guy that likes his own way.
All I know is that I need to give this guy a piece of my mind. He acts like a bully towards the staff and tries to with customers. Therefore I intend to be there tomorrow, Wednesday and Thursday etc.
If you want to see this guy's unbelievable reaction and tell him what a kwai he's being go to the 5th floor of Emporium into the restaurant area, look for Piri Piri Chicken and next to that is a glass fronted cafe called Oriental Hotel Shop. Go in there where the till is looking out the window and sit down there on the far left space right in the corner next to the coffee machine. I will most certainly be there at 10am, taking my time. __________ A repeat performance this morning again. He had called the manager beforehand to lay out his breakfast in "his" spot before he arrived. When I got there I chose to sit there and the staff were very amused to move his food.
5 mins later I heard him say "I give up with you!" loudly to the manageress before stomping off quickly.
10 mins later he telephoned the cafe from downstairs and asked the manageress to go down and speak to him! She came to warn me that she will be saying that she can prepare his breakfast but cannot prevent other customers sitting in that seat, and that Khun Carl chooses to sit there. She was worried that he may come up and argue with me...to which I asked her to tell him to come and see me.
10 mins later she came up without him and told me that he was going to complain to Oriental Hotel top brass that he was a 5-year regular and that he wanted that place reserved for him every morning and lunch (including weekends), so the manageress (very polite girl) was worried. I informed her that he can have his place if he arrives before me or if he comes and talks to me. She said he didn't wish to talk to me, but only to the staff and they should set the rules. I sense a coward.
I told the manageress to report this situation to her boss before he does, and that I will be on hand if they have any questions. In the meantime I will be there each morning in that place until he stops his bullying tactics against the staff and general mentalism. Next time I'll be going up to him, probably tomorrow morning.
No matter how long it takes he waits at another cafe downstairs and comes up get his place, which is most likely what he did when I left at 11am. __________ 28 May 2008 Yep, I shall be there tomorrow morning and will take a photo. I put the story on a big ex pat message board and it seems a lot of people are going to be playing him at his game to test his reaction. Immature maybe, but this guy is really rude.
This morning I got in at 10am and a few customers were milling around the food floor. As I came out of the lift he clocked me and nearly RAN to his spot. I did not participate but instead walked around and went to sit near to him 20 mins later. He was quiet as he got his spot, but not only that...he removed 3 stools from near him so no-one else could get near to "his" space.
There will be a few earlycomers over the next few weeks if I can't get there earlier myself. At the moment he just thinks he's competing with me :-) __________
Are you guys giggling yet~?! This guy is really something, huh~?? Anyway, so by this time Carl's sob-story was getting so many hits on the internet... Mr. Grumpy was becoming quite famous (or should I say NOTORIOUS~!!).30 May 2008
Guys and girls, it's been 2 days and the Grumpy Old Man hasn't been there. He calls the cafe every morning to tell them what food to prepare, and on Thurs he called to say he's travelling out of the country for a meeting and today he called to say he was playing golf. He has comfirmed his place for tomorrow morning. I will be there, others may join if they want.
On Thurs 4 other random people turned up to gauge his anger, today 5 people. Shame it was an anti-climax.
On another website I have posted the same story just for entertainment's sake. 340 replies and 11,000 people have read it, hence some showing up. I think they will occasionally to play him at his own game. He wants his own way and so far he thinks it's just me testing him...he will have a surprise when other random people end up sitting there at 10am.__________ June 1, 2008
So far in most days 3 people plus myself have turned up, but 2 days he didn't show up (he calls to tell the staff to lay out his breakfast if he's coming) then yesterday he was the first one to his place.
Tomorrow I will be there, but if he sees me on my way he'll virtually RUN to get to his place cos he knows what I'm doing. If a stranger is in his place he will be very pissed off, but it means getting onto that floor before 10am. In any case, I'll be there.__________
Someone asked Carl if Mr. Grumpy has OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder): I don't think he's OCD...he just likes to exercise control at this one particular place according to the staff there.
I saw him there on Sat morning, he was first to his "place". Basically he knows that people are playing him at his game so somehow makes a special effort to get there before opening time (not sure how). At the weekend he got is secretary to telephone and reserve the place for him, and she was not "no can do" so she got grumpy too. When he came in he said he doesn't want to reserve the place, but just calls for them to put out his breakfast when he's coming up from ground floor...and that if anyone wants to sit in his place tell them that he's already come and is at the toilet (which is lie), so he's sneaky - he basically still tries to reserve it.
However, on the weekend he was apparently extra-polite to the staff which they said is unlike him, so maybe he's a changed man after realising that people are not agreeing with his attitude. However, he says he WILL be the first there each morning, so I'm guessing that if he doesn't get his place he may well get angry again. I was there this morning but he was out playing golf (he calls the cafe every morning at 9.30 with instructions!).Someone else asked Carl how is it possible that Mr. Grumpy is able to beat everybody to the "special stool" at the cafe: They open at 10am and at most entrances the security guards have it well timed to open the gates dead on 10am. However, from the car park and using the lifts it is possible to sometimes get onto the 5th floor earlier, which is what he must do. If he knows I'm vying for that seat he will virtually run when the security guards let people in! haha
A guy on another board had a good idea: he told me to arrive at 11am most days so the man won't try so hard to be early. Then all of a sudden many people off here plan it out to be there 10am for a few mornings in a row! If he thinks I've stopped competing he'll slow down, but I'm sure he'll get mad with anyone at all taking his seat unexpectedly.
However, after 700 replies and 30,000 readers on another board, the man is still 3-0 up and beats anyone turning up to get his spot! (I think about 3 or 4 people turn up each morning...no idea).
Pretty sure he doesn't have OCD because the other cafes he frequents in Emporium all know him but he doesn't have a "space" he likes in them. He just likes the feeling of VIP and control in that one. Jack's just kidding about him working at the Brit Consulate, he's a CEO of some company but so far not sure which one. One thing's for certain, he's no people person!__________ June 4, 2008It is possible he has read the story in Thaivisa (over 30,000 views so far) or been told about it, as the staff say he is now being much more polite...who knows.__________ June 11, 2008Yep, I went once and it was by chance that his taxi broke down and he was later than me, so I took the stool right next to his in the corner to test his reaction to a close proximity public encounter. He turned up, squeezed into his place, made his calls (seems like he's a stock trader), ordered some people to do things like NOW on the phone (arrogantly), but was otherwise unresponsive to my being there and civil to the staff. Before he would have got mad that someone was sat so close, but I still need to test if can now withhold his temper if someone takes his actual place...
__________
What happens next~?? There's still no update yet...
The thing is, I am so NOT a morning person, so I can't compete for Mr. Grumpy's seat in the morning... ANY VOLUNTEERS~~???This is how Mr. Grumpy looks like (this pic actually wasn't taken by Carl... someone else heard about this amazing story, went to the Oriental Cafe and took the pic~!!).
Behold, Mr. Grumpy on his favorite stool:
 *shudders*
"As Good As it Gets"; Sukhumvit-style~!!streetsmartsukhumvit@gmail.com sukhumvit bangkok thailand
| | I keep seeing the same mushroom over and over again in Sukhumvit... and NO, I swear I'm NOT smokin' any "funny/magical" mushrooms~!!
Nevertheless, this cartoonish, childish-looking mushroom has got me scratchin' my head trying to decipher its possible meaning(s)...
Cult sign~?? (Hail, O Holy Almighty Fungus~!!!!)
Secret drug-dealing spot~?? (Buy your "mushrooms" here~!!)
Or just some mushroom-lovin' graffiti artist with too much time on his/her hand~??
You guys have any ideas~??
peziza vesiculosa~!!
streetsmartsukhumvit@gmail.com
sukhumvit bangkok thailand
CLICK ON INDIVIDUAL PIC FOR A BIGGER VIEW.
(More Sukhumvit graffiti ).
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I am NOT fond of walking inside Sukhumvit 24 (for those of yo u who don't know, Sukhumvit 24 is the soi of my beloved Emporium). It's always sooo crowded, no matter what time it is (except maybe Songkran haha). It also gets flooded when it rains heavily. Worse, it's got no pavement~!! So when you're walking there, various kinds of vehicles will pass oh-sooooo-very-close to your skin you can actually feel the HEAT from them~!! (And no, the feeling is totally not the same as spa steam treatment~!!). But anyway, y'all know that I hate hot weather (and I hate WALKING in hot weather even more), as mentioned HERE. "So how would you enter Sukhumvit 24, then??" some of you might ask. The answer, my dearies, is MOTORCYCLE TAXIs. 
These guys pictured above are a heaven-sent for Sukhumvit 24. Why waste time and money in a TAXI or car when you can cut down your "traveling time" to mere minutes~??
As mentioned in my "Local Transportation" photo album (check it out ), the motorcycle taxi drivers of Sukhumvit 24 are in a  league of their own. They're true professionals who can swerve between vehicles in the blink of an eye. They’ve got their own smoooooth rotation system to make sure that passengers are quickly “matched up” with drivers. What's more, they don't overcharge (unlike the greedy chumps in the next soi - Sukhumvit 24/1, pictured right)~!! And they can bring you from the pak soi (mouth of the soi) to the end of the soi in about THREE MINUTES, I kid you not~!! (They've saved my super-late ass countless times~!!). One look at my high-maintenance hair, and some of you might scoff, "YOU take motorcycle taxis~?! You with your dresses and high heels~?! Don't make me laugh~!!!!" 
Aaaah ~ but you underestimate the SSS~!! I've been living in Sukhumvit since childhood, therefore I can now proudly call myself a LOCAL (by the way, for those who also aspire to be a Sukhumvit LOCAL, click to check out "I'm From Sukhumvit - How To Be a Local"). I now possess the elusive, special and rare Sukhumvit skills crucial for surviving on this road... and one of these |
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