StreetSmart's posts with tag: taxi driver series
 So there I was in a TAXI on a sunny day inside Sukhumvit 24.
My driver this time was a man who appeared to be in his mid-thirties, with closely-cropped hair.
When we passed a high-end pet specialty store, the driver said to me, "Nhu, nhu... look at that dog fashion shop~!! Even dogs have better clothes than humans~!! Ha! Ha! Ha!" he guffawed, somehow finding the whole situation comical.
"Oh, I used to have a poodle before who hated wearing clothes," I told him.
"That's good, it's cheaper," he nodded. "My dog actually likes wearing clothes~!!" he laughed again. "Guess how much a dog dress costs~!!"
I was about to open my mouth and guess a price, but was beaten to the punch. "150 baht~!!!" the driver exclaimed. "150 baht~!! I can have a nice dinner already with 150 baht~!! HAHAHAHAAAA~~~!!!" he laughed heartily.
"But y'know, my family takes our dog everywhere we go," he continued, "even up North, when we go to Chiang Mai and Chiang Rai~!!"
"Reeeeeeally~~??" I exclaimed.
"Yeap," he said. "Even to the Doi Suthep Temple (pictured below left). See, dogs aren't allowed to ride the cable car up to the temple, so we tell him to go up the stairs (pictured below right) and wait for us there."
 
"WOW, so smart~!!!" I commented, and the driver giggled happily (I could tell the man was a true dog-lover~!!).
"And you know what, soooo... many people really like our dog, he's popular everywhere~!!" he claimed.
"But you know what's funny?" he asked.
"What is it?" I asked back.
"My dog hates farangs~!!!! HAHAHAHAAA~~~~!!!!" he laughed uproariously. "Farangs always think he's so cute and want to play with him, but he doesn't even let them touch him~!!"
"Oh, how come~??" I asked him.
"Hmmmm... I myself don't know," he said, shaking his head. "Maybe... farangs just smell different~~!!! BWAHAHAHAHAAAA~~~!!!!" he laughed like hell, slapping his thighs.  sniff sniff
Read PART 1 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!! Read PART 2 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!! Read PART 3 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!!
Read part 4 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!!
Read part 5 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!!
Read part 6 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!!
streetsmartsukhumvit@gmail.com  sukhumvit  bangkok  thailand
 So there I was, in a TAXI, grumbling under my breath because I’d just been conned to go aaaaaaaaall the way from Sukhumvit to Srinakarin just for a friggin’ MOVIE.
It all started because a friend of mine was lazy to get out of his house and insisted that I go to his place (which turned out to be in the hicks – gawd) instead. “Why does this fool live aaaall the way in Srinakarin anyway,” cursed I. “That’s like, thang changwat (external province/country-side) already~!! BAH~!!” My TAXI driver, a man who looked to be in his late-thirties was a particularly chatty one. As usual, he started with the typical questions, as I mentioned before HERE. “It’s quite late already; why are you going to Srinakarin?” he asked. “Erm, my lousy friend told me to come to watch a movie,” I said. “All the way to Srinakarin just for a movie~?!” he asked , incredulous. “I know, he’s so annoying,” I said. “I mean, just look at where we are~!! Look, there’s a JUNGLE over there~!!” I pointed out to a group of trees on an empty lot. “You’ll never see THAT in Sukhumvit~!! This is thang changwat already~!!” “This must be a very SPECIAL movie~!!” he commented and laughed. “Yea, I guess…” I said. “He likes to buy a lot of DVDs.” “DVDs~!!” he exclaimed. “I bet you it’s nang po’ (porn)~!! BWAHAHAHA~~~!!!” he laughed, slapping his knee. “Don’t you think so~??” “Erm… I’m pretty sure it’s NOT porn…” I answered, scratching my head. “You’re not Thai, are you? Phuut thai mai chat~!!” (Your Thai isn’t very clear). I said no, and he added, “I am not Thai either. I’m from Laos~!!” This piqued my interest, because as far as I can remember, I’ve never met a Laotian TAXI driver before (or maybe I did, but I just didn’t realize it – because many of my Laotian acquaintances are extremely fluent in Thai you wouldn’t even NOTICE they’re not Thais). “Which part of Laos are you from?” I asked. “You know Nong Khai? I’m from near Nong Khai,” he said. “Your Thai is perfect,” I commented, and he said, “Well, many Laotians can speak Thai VERY WELL. There are many similar things between Thais and Laotians. Like food… You know somtam ?” “Oh, I LOVE somtam~!!” I said. “We have somtam too… and khao niew (sticky rice)~!!” “Very similar to Isaan food,” I said, “Isaan food is my favorite Thai food.” “Do you think I look Thai?” he asked, and I said, “Oh hell yea~!!” (OK, so I didn’t really say “hell yea”, but y’all know what I mean~!!). “I wouldn’t even guess you’re not Thai~!!” I added. “See, that’s the good thing… we look Thai and sound Thai that Thai people won’t even know we’re actually NOT Thai…” he said. “It can bring us many benefits…” “Like how?” I asked. “Some Thai people look down on us and call us ban nok (country-sided/unsophisticated). Even when they come  to visit Laos, they freely make fun of us right in front of us. Some of them don’t realize that we understand Thai language perfectly.” “So how is that a good point?” I was confused. “Well, we can always shock them by suddenly turning to them and speak to them in perfect Thai, saying ‘Keep your voice down; we Laotians understand what you’re talking about!’ HA HA HAAAAAAAAAA~~~” he guffawed, looking very satisfied with himself.
Never judge a book by its cover~!! Read PART 1 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!! Read PART 2 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!! Read PART 3 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!!
Read part 4 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!!
Read part 5 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!!
streetsmartsukhumvit@gmail.com
sukhumvit bangkok thailand
 It was a dark and stormy night. Nah, just kidding (got your attention though, didn’t I~~ heh heh~). OK, no more joking around. Let’s try again, shall we? The night was actually just a bit cloudy, and this time my TAXI driver was a man in his mid-forties, with golden skin and curly hair. I noticed that he was observing me on his mirror, and he asked, “Mai chai khon thai roo?” (You’re not Thai, are you?), and I said no. He began asking me the typical questions that all TAXI drivers seem to have learned in “TAXI driver school” (click HERE if you really wanna know what the specific questions are), until he came to the “jackpot question”: “Mii faen khon thai mai?” (You got a Thai boyfriend?) I said no I don’t, and he asked, “Why not?” I (only JOKINGLY) answered, “Because Thai men like women TOO MUCH~!! They have too many kiks~!!!” He threw his head back and laughed heartily, with one hand slapping his thigh. “Aaah, you understand Thai men very well~!!” he remarked, and then suddenly became serious and declared, “I myself have two wives…” “EEEEHH~~?!?!” It was my turn to be caught off guard. “Ching roo khaaa~~~???” (Reeeeaallyyy~~~???) “You mean you have ‘mia luang’ and ‘mia noi’, right??” I pressed him. “Not really ‘kik’?” “Yes,” he replied. “My ‘mia luang’ is in Chiang Mai, and my ‘mia noi’ is here in Bangkok.” “Do you have any kids?” I asked. “One with my ‘mia luang’ and two with my ‘mia noi’,” he answered. (I was actually SOOOOO curious to ask him how does a TAXI driver afford two wives AND three kids, but I thought the question would be too nosy and rude; and since I am no longer a journalist and therefore cannot get away with asking “too aggressive” questions anymore, I decided to change tactics instead). “Don’t they fight?” I asked him. He chuckled and replied, “Luckily they don’t because they’re far away from each other. But both of them complain to ME, so I get tooo many headaches from BOTH of them~!!” (Oh gaaawd I can TOTALLY imagine~!! It must be like Armageddon every day~!!) 
“How do you divide your time between the two?” I asked him. “I mostly stay in Bangkok for work, and only go back to Chiang Mai during holidays, or sometimes on weekends.” “So I guess your ‘mia luang’ must complain to you A LOT,” I remarked, and he said, “Yea, she’s always angry with me.” Then he got really serious again and looked at me intently on the mirror, “But you see, I made her my legal wife because I really love her. She’s my very special first love. I agreed to sign the marriage papers for her. My ‘mia noi’ is not recognized by law as my wife. So even if I’m not always with my ‘mia luang’, even if I have a ‘mia noi’, she is still my NUMBER ONE~!!” Before I could stop myself, I heard myself say, “Being NUMBER ONE isn’t good enough for me. I have to be not just NUMBER ONE, I also have to be THE ONLY ONE~!!! I do not like to SHARE~!!!” Somehow my comment really tickled this surprisingly candid driver’s funny bone and he erupted into laughter again. “That’s why you cannot go with Thai men~!!” was his conclusion. ******************************************************************* I wasn’t exaggerating when I mentioned that Thai men aren’t hot about monogamy. The Thai language is rife with words (both formal and informal) specifying what KIND and what LEVEL a specific romantic relationship is (pardon the screwed-up Thai spellings): - saami is a very formal and polite word that means "husband" (as in legal husband – meaning you’ve signed the marriage papers) - pharayaa is a very formal and polite word that means "wife" (as in legal wife – meaning you’ve signed the marriage papers) - faen means "lover" (as in “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”), but when used as a slang, can also mean “husband” or “wife” (SO tricky, isn’t it?!) - mia is slang for “wife” - mia luang is the slang word for legal or “public” wife - mia noi is the slang for "second wife" (or "mistress") – “noi” literally means “little”, so a mia noi is of lower level than mia luang but requires more commitment than just a faen (lover) because a man will not take a mia noi unless he can afford to. A mia noi, though not recognized by law, is guaranteed a steady “monthly allowance”, sometimes even a residence, car, cellphone, etc. (so a mia noi of a very rich man will have a much more comfortable/luxurious life than a mia luang of a poor one!!) - chuu is another slang, to loosely indicate someone’s “second lover” (lower level than faen because a faen is your boyfriend or girlfriend, so if you have a chuu that means you’re cheating on your boyfriend/girlfriend) - a kik is a "sex friend/f*ck buddy" (no or very little emotional attachment; often means a physical – and “convenient” - relationship) * Some people equate having a kik as having a chuu. One of my (male) Thai friends explained,"Chuu is basically cheating. People who cheat use chuu as a euphemism but really having a kik when you already have a bf/gf is chuu. Anyone who says otherwise should not be trusted!!" P.S. It is worth noting that nowadays, “modern and independent” Thai women also have their own chuus and kiks~!! 
P.P.S. My Thai friend mentioned above concluded his oh-so-enlightening explanation by telling me, "Now that I've enlightened you, help me find a kik~!!" (siiigh~~ I’m too speechless…) and me only~!! Read PART 1 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!! Read PART 2 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!! Read PART 3 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!! Read PART 4 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!!
Read PART 6 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!!
streetsmartsukhumvit@gmail.com
sukhumvit bangkok thailand
 So there I was, in a TAXI again, this time going to Sukhumvit 22. My TAXI driver this evening was a youngish guy, about mid-twenties.
He was listening to one of the usual TAXI radio stations featuring luukthung (folksy Thai music originating from the northeastern Isan province) when I suddenly recognized the song being broadcasted. The opening of the song sounded very similar to a cheerful, childish song I often hear on the Thai TV Channel 5: it’s a song sung by a very cute little girl about pandas (for those of you who don’t know, the whole Thailand went ga-ga when China decided to "lend" its pandas to Chiang Mai Zoo). The lyrics go like this: “Mii panda, mii panda, mii panda, mii mii pandaaaaaaaaaaaa~~” (There’s the panda, there’s the panda, there’s the panda, there’s the pandaaaaaaaaaaaaa~~). The whole song basically goes on about how adorable pandas are: “They’re so cute… so clean… black and white…Let’s go see the panda together, na~!!” I found a VDO in YouTube showing the tiny singer performing her panda song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fZZbflSUis But this song I was hearing in the TAXI this evening only sounded very similar to this young girl’s song… My ears did a double take when the singer’s voice was revealed… It was an ADULT MALE’s voice singing the “Mii Panda” song~!! You might scoff and say “so what”, but waitwaitwait… Here’s a YouTube clip of the original music VDO of the guy’s hilariously monotonous “Mii Panda” song~!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSdPOc68Pn4 COMPARE AND CONTRAST~!! As you can see (and hear), this guy looks and sounds deadly serious about the silly panda song. I found the combination of macho image, low masculine voice and luukthung accompaniment (with its very recognizable fast-paced khaen tunes) mixed with cutesy lyrics about fat furry marsupials to be VERY TICKLISH. So anyway, I couldn’t help but ask the TAXI driver, “Phi, phi~!! Isn’t this song the same song sung by that cute lil’ girl about panda?!” This time it was the TAXI driver who did a double take. “EH~?! You KNOW this song?!” I said, “Yes, channel 5 often shows the music VDO of the little girl singing the panda song in the afternoon.” He laughed uproariously and remarked, “How surprising~!! Someone like YOU actually listen to luukthung channel~!!” He then turned around and proceeded to closely examine me, as if he couldn’t believe that such a passenger could actually be knowledgeable about a “country” music. I just smiled and tried to look innocent. Satisfied with his “inspection”, he turned his attention back to the road (I was thankful that the evening traffic was quite heavy). Then with an authoritative voice he said, “This guy is actually the ORIGINAL singer of the panda song. The little girl just copied it because it became very popular.” “REEEEALLY~~?!” I exclaimed, completely surprised. “But the little girl’s song is kind of cute… I mean, it FITS her. But this guy... This guy sounds… w-e-i-r-d…” “Hahahaha~~!!,” he laughed, then added (this time with a serious voice, waving his left index finger around), “See, this guy’s original song is just called ‘the panda’ song, but the little girl’s song is ‘panda family’ song!!” WOW~ Who says you can’t learn new things from TAXI drivers~?! P.S. By the way, YouTube also has several other variations of this panda song: - a group of silly boys lip-synching and dancing to the panda song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLoAiWEpZHg  - another panda song performance (with costume), plus a short comedy skit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xX7wfb7kGfw ("Why are your eyes black? Did your wife BOX you?" - this is unbelievable, and I don’t know how long this one will last in YouTube, knowing how sensitive the government is… here’s an anti coup d'état panda VDO~!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwQPwSP4byY If you I swear I’ll sing the panda song for ya~!! Complete with costume~!! Read PART 1 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!! Read PART 2 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!! Read PART 3 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!! Read PART 5 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!!
Read PART 6 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!!
streetsmartsukhumvit@gmail.com sukhumvit bangkok thailand
 The rain was brutal. The traffic was hell. And I was bored to tears.
Then I noticed that the TAXI driver, a man in his thirties, with curly hair and longish, immaculately shaped nails, was watching me from his rearview mirror. "Wanna hear a joke?" he asked. "Yea, sure," I said, "Anything is better than having nothing to do on a rainy day. So beua (boring)~!!" "OK, here goes," he began, "What kind of rot (Thai word for "car" or "vehicle") is longer than rot fai (literally means "fiery car" = train)?" (English translation: what kind of a car/vehicle is longer than a train?) My brain was, of course, in its default "SLEEP" mode, so I was in no condition to do any deep thinking. "Erm... I dunno, I have no idea," I said. "It's rot tid (traffic)!!" he said, looking so delighted. "HAHAHAHA~~!!!!" ******************************************************************* In order to understand the joke completely, here's a quick Thai language lesson: - the word rot means car or vehicle in Thai - when you add different words, it becomes a different type of transportation. For example: * rot fai (fiery car) = train * rot mae (mother car) = bus * rot tai din (car underneath the floor) = subway This particular TAXI driver demonstrated his finesse with Thai pun (play on words), because rot tid (cars close together) IS a form of "rot", except it means "traffic", and as we all know... Bangkok traffic can stre-e-e-e-tch forever into the horizon, longer than ANY trains on the face of the earth~!! The BEST joke I’ve heard today~!!
Read PART 1 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!! Read PART 2 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!! Read PART 4 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!! Read PART 5 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!! Read PART 6 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!!
streetsmartsukhumvit@gmail.com sukhumvitbangkok thailand
 As I mentioned in "A Conversation With A TAXI Driver" (read it here), Bangkok’s TAXI drivers just say the darnest things.
This time I was (again) riding a TAXI on the main Sukhumvit Road when the driver, a man in his late twenties with longish hair started to mention that he actually doesn’t like watching those stereotypical lakons (soap opera) but instead prefers the traditional lakons (unfortunately I didn’t catch the title of his favorite lakon because at this time I was busy fiddling with my cellphone - aaarrgghhh). This was quite surprising to me because stereotypically, lakon watchers are usually female, but hey, like I said, Bangkok has some of the most interesting TAXI drivers in the world~!! For those who don’t know, modern Thai lakons are usually filled with high drama, lots of screaming, crying, cat fights and hair pulling - and of course, the stereotypical love triangle between: - The stereotypical good guy character (soft-spoken, riep rooy - meaning prim and proper, never sweats) called phra aek - The stereotypical good girl character (even more soft-spoken, super riep rooy, never bares too much skin, pure and innocent like untouched jasmine) called nang aek AND - The stereotypical bitch (wears the latest hussy fashion, LOTS of makeup and possesses deadly weapons like long nails and loudspeakers as vocal chords) called nang rai. The stereotypical story goes like this: phra aek loves nang aek but their course of love is full of obstacles (not only due to nang rai’s evil schemes but also because nang aek who stereotypically MUST be prim and proper doesn't clearly express her love for phra aek so the stereotypically indecisive phra aek is always stuck in the middle), and since phra aek is always polite and riep rooy, he doesn’t really have the balls to tell nang rai off to stop bullying nang aek; so nang aek has to endure nang rai’s attacks (resulting in torn clothing, scratches on face, a few bald spots, partial deafness due to loud verbal abuse) for the whole series until the very end when phra aek finally musters enough courage to save nang aek from the suffering she has tragically endured. To break up the story a bit, some stereotypical minor characters are usually added: the feisty sidekick of the nang aek, the wise grandparent (usually grandma), the nosy and gossipy maid and of course, the flamboyant katoey or gay man with outrageous fashion. Many lakons are usually aired either in the evening or afternoon (thus the loyal followers/viewers are usually made up of housewives and maids). But this one particular TAXI driver is a unique species because first of all, he’s male (and no, he’s not a fairy) and he watches the TRADITIONAL lakon, where the background music is traditional Thai music, the characters wear Thai costumes, and speak melodiously with poetic grace. "The stereotypical Thai lakon is so predictable," he said and added, "They make me feel SO beua (bored)!" and I wholeheartedly agreed. “Hmm, this just shows that stereotypes can sometimes be broken,” I thought to myself amusingly and looked at this particular driver with newfound awe and respect. But right after that thought crossed my mind, the supposedly progressive TAXI driver suddenly commented that my Thai isn’t very good (“phuut thai mai chat”, he said – which literally means “your spoken Thai isn’t very clear/fluent”), then added, “But it’s OK, you sound very thae (cool); just like those nang sao thai (Miss Thailand contestants)!” And I thought, “Man, that’s SO stereotypical~!!” * ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- * The Thais have a love affair with the luuk khreung (literally means “half child” – referring to people with mixed blood, for example: Thai-American, Thai-Australian, Thai-German, etc.) because they go GA-GA over the luuk khreungs' Eurasian looks (lighter colored hair and eyes, fairer skin, etc.). Flip to any Thai TV channel and you’ll see that the luuk khreungs have taken over the media: they come out on advertisements, catwalks, talk shows, soap operas and dominate the annual Miss Thailand competition – so the Thais are used to (and even expect to) seeing a stereotypical luuk khreung struggling with her strangely accented Thai on the Miss Thailand stage trying to answer questions. Who cares if he's stereotypical, this story RAWKS~!! Read PART 3 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!! Read PART 4 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!! Read PART 5 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!!
Read PART 6 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!!
streetsmartsukhumvit@gmail.com sukhumvit bangkok thailand
 Bangkok has some of the most talkative, friendliest, funniest taxi drivers.
Of course you do get some rotten apples once in a while, but most of the time, they're a pleasure to be with, especially when traffic is hell or it's pouring cats and dogs outside. When they try to strike a conversation, it seems as if they follow some sort of "pattern". I often wonder whether they actually go to a "taxi driver school" where they are taught what kinds of stuff they should talk about with their passengers.
The "pattern usually goes like this: "So... you're not Thai, are you? Oh, but your Thai is SO good! Where did you learn how to speak Thai? How long have you been living in Thailand? Wow, that long, huh? So does this mean your passport is Thai already?" "So... are you planning to go back to your home country? Why not? Well, that's true... Thailand is peaceful, food is cheap and the people are nice! So many foreigners want to live in Thailand because this is the best country in the world!" "So... do you like Thailand? Can you eat Thai food? Really? Can you eat spicy food? What about 'somtam'? I am impressed! This means you ARE Thai already!" "So... what do you think of Thai men? Do you have a Thai husband? What about a Thai boyfriend? Ha ha ha" "So... I'm trying to learn English so I can talk to tourists. Do you speak English? Can you teach me some? How do you say 'What do you want to see in Bangkok? Where do you want to go?' in English? What about how to say 'Hey you wanna hook up with some Thai ladies?' " "By the way, do you know why those farang men like really dark and ugly Thai women? I mean, Thai men prefer light skin, y'know? But these farang men, they actually go for those really dam-dam (literally means "black") farmers' daughters! I really cannot understand their taste." ****************************************************** Anyway, on this particular day, the driver was a slim man perhaps in his mid-forties. I noticed that he was intently looking at an alcohol ad promoting some "New York style" party with the words "The Big Apple" printed on top. "Nhu, nhu," he called me. "Why is New York called the Big Apple?" "Erm, I dunno," I said, and added, "But did you know that Krungthep (Bangkok) is sometimes called 'The Big Mango'?" He laughed uproariously and commented, "Perhaps that's because us Thai people are prieow*!!" * the word prieow means a combination of spicy, sour and sweet taste (like the popular somtam salad). But it can also be used to describe other things, such as: - fashion: prieow fashion is fun and a bit provocative, with bright colors - females: sassy, active and definitely not riep rooy (prim and proper) Read PART 2 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!! Read PART 3 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!! Read PART 4 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!! Read PART 5 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!! Read PART 6 of the "Conversation With A TAXI Driver" series here~!!
Bangkok's TAXI drivers are the bestest~!! streetsmartsukhumvit@gmail.com sukhumvit bangkok thailand
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